complicated..

I have started to realise how complicated my mind is.
I have also noticed that I am not completely happy, mainly with myself.
I am a shy person mainly because I am scared of disappointing people.
And the past few weeks I have disappointed myself with some of the smallest things..
But it tears me apart.
I feel completely useless because I expect too much, and I have the same with people around me.
I am in a continuous battle with myself. And it rubs off onto friendships and relationships.
My family left to France a couple of days ago, and I am so stressed because there are things I am doing (without anyones helps or support) and I am so scared of failing at it. I don't want to disappoint my family.
And it's slowly tearing me apart.
I don't know what to do, I feel like shy and am not content with anything I do.
I wish I was.
I miss you all terribly.
love, x.